A Serious topic

I know I usually only write serious articles about computer things or topics that are more for business purposes, however as a parent I find myself wanting to write a serious post that is not any of the above.  As a warning, the subject of this post involves sex, suicide and pornography, all things that some may not want to read about. 

So if you are still reading I assume you have read the warning and chose to continue.  The topic today is not a pleasant one.  I am writing this because as an Alumni of The University of Wisconsin - River Falls, I often read news articles that are from River Falls Wisconsin or involve the University.  I recently came upon a horrible news story about a student of the college, who died at her own hands after being in a pornographic film. Since I have 3 daughters and attended the college this story hit me more than some of the other stories we see in the news. The KMSP news story is linked here:

http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/story/25559147/investigators-the-pressure-of-porn

As a parent of daughters, this is the stuff of nightmares.  We all fear for the safety of our children, wish them presence of mind to make good decisions and worry about them.  I think all fathers who were once a teenage boy, have a keen sense of worry about daughters and sex.  What struck me about the story is it hits on something that has always bothered me, and puzzled me, "Why would a girl ever agree to do porn?"  I have wondered about this type of stuff for years.  I wonder, is it like Breaking Bad, where somehow all the choices are rationalized away as for the good of the family or for survival etc?  Or is it something different?  I have wondered this since I was a young man, as I just can't seem to understand why even if you get rich you would want to do this.  I have continued to wonder as I have gotten older as I have thought if I can know why someone would want to do this, perhaps I can prevent those reasons from occurring for any of the girls I know. 

In this particular case, the issue seems more on the surface as shortly after the video became public, people began to chatter about it on social media and according to the logic of the story this public embarrassment and harassment drove her to end her life.  That is what makes me really confused.  Logically if one does porn, it is to be seen by someone and a type of infamy can follow for so called "Pornstars".  So, if the normal outcome of doing porn was not desired, what was?  Why would someone subject themselves to this kind of treatment if money and a type of fame were not desired?

Is our culture and the mainstream manner in which sex, porn and objectification of women has become so accepted as normal that the youth have no idea of what outcomes of doing porn could be?  I am starting to subscribe to this theory based upon stuff I see posted on facebook.  Stuff that will linger for years and could haunt many young people down the line in terms of lost employment opportunities and the like.  It seems like we have truly separated outcomes in terms of sex and consequences.  It seems we have as a culture said, "its a victimless crime, sure its not something that people in the past viewed as moral behavior, but that is such an outdated notion of morality.  Today we are more open and free". 

I am not going to get into morality, politics or religion here, other than to say, nothing is victimless.  All choices have consequences, seen or unseen. 

I can't say why this particular case happened for certain, none of us can.  What I will say is no amount of money or fame is worth more than a life.  I for one will continue to let my children know about consequences of actions and hope I have given them the tools to make good decisions.  I also for my part will not be a person who wants my daughters to not be involved in such activities, but then goes out and supports the porn industry by being a consumer of it. 

I would love it if others did the same, but I know that in a free country and a world of free will, people will still consume pornography.  That is the fact.  The other fact is  I am no closer to knowing the why.  Perhaps I will never know.